Where did all the time go?

So I was just browsing through my draft posts and I have quite a few of them. But this was quite finished so I wondered why I never posted it. Anyway, here it is. thoughts from 2 years ago, LEGIT.

The same old phrase, time really flies. You never really notice it passing by until it accumulates to months or years. I'm already in my last lap of YEAR 3!!!! Wts. Honestly, I didn't think 3 years would pass by so fast. Now that I ponder about it, 3 years is really a short amount of time.

Back in primary school, we had 6 years, which was freaking long enough. Then in secondary, education was cut by a year. I wouldn't say it was too long or too short, maybe just nice. Then at the start of poly, I thought, "okay, I have 3 years, I still have some time". So I spent the 1st year figuring out my path, new environment, etc. When Year 2 came, I thought "nothing feels that different?" and just sort of breezed through it. Reality hit me during my 1st Year 3 attachment. Honestly, my friends and I were thinking it was still a Year 2 attachment but no. Shit got real. That was when I was like "oh shit, I'm graduating in a year. SERIOUSLY??" When did all that happen. Like what have I been doing for the past few years??

I'm pretty sure a lot of people have these kinds of thoughts.

When I was in Year 1. Omg, I felt like a baby fumbling around an unfamiliar terrain. I'm never good at 'opening my mouth', as my teachers and parents would call it but I somehow managed to take the initiative to make my first friend in poly.

And whenever she brings up how I started the conversation with her I'm just internally cringing at myself inside. It was an achievement nonetheless. I'd say Year 1 Sem 1 was the best time in my poly life.

Year 3 celebrations.
Damn touching moment. I literally felt that this was the end. We are really separating. We had a round of feedback session where everyone just said their thanks and appreciation to people in the class. ... just speechless. The feelsss T.T So thankful to be in NR1405. Never regretted being in this class. It's really the best out of all the classes I've been in primary and secondary school. We helped each other in lengths that I never thought possible. Its not just the people in your clique that will help, it's everyone. Sharing notes that one person got from other classes to the whole class, photocopying self-written notes for the whole class. And it For that, I'm forever thankful. This class has taught me so much about kindness, understanding, caring and sharing. 

And somehow, you've got more questions then ever piling up on you.

From yourself:
"What am I going to do when I graduate?"
"When will I start working"
"Where am I going to work?"
 "Will I even have a decent working salary?"
"what will working life be like?"

From others: (friends, family, teachers omg the whole lot of them)

"When are you graduating?"
"When will you start working?"
"How much is your pay going to be?"
"Are you prepared to graduate?" (OHhellno)

andmanymanymore...

Okay, so I really don't know how my future is going to be although I have been saying like

 "oh, just work in hospital after graduation lor. Maybe NUH 'cos I attached there a lot of times so I'm familiar withe the environment. Or perhaps NTFGH since it's nearer to my house."

"Maybe work for 2 years first to gain experience before specializing?"

All these maybes ugh. Nothing is ever set in stone until you experience it. Makes me feel so insecure like so what if I planned it out. Anything can go wrong anything. I'd never see it coming.

At least I'll still try to take it one step at a time. Whatever the future may be, just give it to me and *fingers crossed* let's hope I'm prepared.

Now, it's really amusing to step back and look at the changes happened since I wrote this.
 

Hello 2018! Another year on...

Hello!! Greetings everyone in 2018!! Hahah. It has been yet another few months since I haven't posted anything but, I have been busy adjusting to adult life, like officially. 😶 And omgosh, blogger actually can use emojis already?? Or is it that I just didn't notice.

And yes, like everyone else, it's time for me to reflect on the previous year.

2017 has been a year of challenges and milestones. It has definitely been tough, but rewards don't come without effort right? From completing my PRCP in February, planning and embarking on an overseas trip, graduating in May, becoming jobless and lost in my future, to finally getting a stable job and turning 21st, and to the most recent DC production!! 😆 All these moments gave me a taste of what adulthood is, and what it has in store for me.
(Oh and, it's a story for another day but I finally went on a adventure to an abandoned place!!)

Nothing can prepare us for what lies in adulthood, until you're truly at that stage.  Damn, did I ever mention that I wanted to stop growing at 12? I still wish I could, with every passing year. 

I'd say the 1st half of 2017 has been me finding myself and my future path, while the latter half had me having a clearer vision of my future, though not a certain one. I'm just glad I'm not jobless at 21.
Times are hard, society is harsh, standards of living are high.

Turning 21st was a quiet affair for me. Of course, everyone else are busy settling their adult lives, be it school or work. And I, with mine. 21 isn't that big of a deal afterall. The number doesn't make it special, it's the things you do in that year that make 21st such a big deal.

DANCE. Still an important part of my life till this day and I never regretted joining dance. I must really thank that friend who roped me in primary school chinese dance. Many a time, dance has helped me express my emotions, and people are made aware of them, when I felt like there was no outlet for me. I especially like the feeling of forgetting everything else to have 100% concentration in dance. It just empties my mind of anything and everything. (y'know humans always have issues)
After all these years of dance, I finally had the chance to create a choreography that I could solely call my own. Of course, it wasn't done without guidance. I'll touch more on this in future but for now, it's one of my proudest milestones in life and IS in my dance life.


Growing up, I could never envision my adult life. While others had images of their future, mine was just a blank sheet. I'm really thankful I made it through 21 blessed with important events. Last year prepared me for baby steps into adult life, I guess in 2018, it's for real.

 Now every year, I'd just ride on the fun of creating new year's resolutions. Looking back, those were really silly and I didn't keep to most of them. So what's the point? Therefore, in 2018,  I just want to make a simple resolution. Dear 2018, let's make it a stable and meaningful year.

To everyone else, let's make this year one that we remember fondly. 😊



 

1st Choreographing experience

Hello friends! I performed in a dance piece during NYP's openhouse in Jan. I definitely felt excited as it was my first time performing for openhouse but what I was really ecstatic about was that we performed our own choreographed piece! So I will not miss blogging this out for the world. We took a lot of inspiration from our seniors, various dance teachers and the internet of course haha. The rest we squeezed from our brain juices lol. We started thinking of ideas and songs for the item in the last week of October last year. The real choreographing began in Nov, and the real hardcore practices started in Dec. Our dance teacher left somewhere in the mid of Dec and we were left on our own for almost a month. In respect to that, I applaud ourselves for having the determination to diligently attend self-practices even during busy school periods. Schoolwork was crazy during those few months that time man, and I had an important module exam too. (which I barely passed) Still, I was glad everything worked out in the end and we saw the fruits of our labour.

We thought of the costume, hairstyle, and makeup all by ourselves and yes, we also did it ourselves. Throughout this whole process, I felt a huge sense of accomplishment because omg, I still can't believe it a little but we really did a lot by ourselves. In a small group of 6. I believe that we also came to a realization that we had a lot to learn about dance (so much more and it's never ending).

However, one thing I'm sure about is: I have no regrets during those few months of preparation for the dance item.

I'm sure you have seen those 15 seconds videos of the performance but here is the full one! Finally!! (ps, sorry about the quality, it's filmed by a phone after all. Probably better if you watch it small)

 |

and presenting our dance piece, Man On A Wire 

Left to right: Ren Ting, Me, Jacinth, Li Yun, Shi Jia, Cheryl

Performers <3 So grateful for them, especially Li Yun and Shi Jia for taking the lead and giving us motivation hehe.

Never got to write them an individual note so here it is:

Ren Ting, you may not have realised, but you have grown in the short period of time in DC. Taking part in so many performances must have been a huge step out of your own comfort zone. I'm so glad that you have become more comfortable with us and able to crack jokes too hehe. Please continue to find joy in dancing~ <3

Jacinth, you never fail to be the happy pill during practices even when you are stressed up with your hectic school schedule. You have surprised me, and I'm sure the others with your creative dance moves which added a unique touch to the dance item. You went through a lot, really, but I believe that you have proved that you do have a flair for dance. Keep trying! Don't give up! <3

Li Yun, although I wasn't close to you at all previously, I'm sure we have gotten closer through this whole process. And I'm really glad that you and Shi Jia decided to participate in this. Thank you for your sudden 'high' moments after milo haha. It really brightens the atmosphere when we felt tired. You definitely gave me the energy to continue practicing. And yes, thank you to you and Shi Jia for being so patient with the rest of us when we couldn't think of steps. <3

Shi Jia, I also wasn't close to you at first, and didn't know how to approach you and Li Yun at the start. But you two were so friendly and we could eventually talk on comfortable terms. I still remember that random h2h talk the six of us had. I felt like we all got closer after that. Thank you for your friendliness and always managing to pull the whole team back on track when we were too crazy playing haha. <3

Cheryl, I don't think you know it, but you were like a motivation for me to study even when I'm so tired after dance. Haha. You hae always balanced dance and schoolwork so well that I believe you're a role model that most of us look up too. Please continue to do that haha. But don't be too stressed up! Thank you also for dealing with SAO for a lot of stuff but know that you still have us if you need any help. <3

They probably won't see this but hehe, I'm thankful for them.

 Lastly, you see that girl in the centre, that's Shu Jing. Haha, Thank you so so much for coming to support us even though you're not in the item and helping us to video and giving us comments on practices. Even coming on openhouse day to help with makeup and moral support. And also to video our performance!! Hehe, love you loads! <3

be back soon! 

-

Look back on 2014

If I were to think of the good things in 2014, I would say that it's been a pretty good year. BUT, there have been quite a few events that haven't been pleasant. And it's not like they're really small events too. So I have to say that 2014 hasn't been a great year after all.

2014 started on a good note with me still working in the warehouse that time. I was just earning and spending and the cycle repeats. Lol, best time of all. The first extremely long holiday in a while where I really didn't need to do any school-related stuff. I also had lots of time to meet my friends, which I was grateful for.

Then poly started. First came the changes. I think I did adapted pretty well to change this time, considering it was not my favourite course of choice again. Hahaha. People in the class were very friendly and it made me feel like opening up after a while. I also took the first step in talking to a friend. Hahaha. And that ended up pretty well. We got closer since then. I'm also super grateful to have a friend like her. 

CCA. I ended up joining dance again in the end lolol. In fact, I was actually pulled into audition by another friend. And I got in. Since there didn't seem like there were other fulfilling CCAs that appealed to me, I ended up joining. Initially, I was against joining dance. After all, I had dance as my CCA from primary to secondary school. So I wanted to try something new this time. Alas, the twist of fate. I thought it was gonna be the same kind of thing. Who knew? Joining Dance Company gave me a greater perspective of dance. The style of dance that we learned was similar yet different from my experiences. It gave me new challenges and I found a sense of accomplishment when I could achieve it. Joining DC also helped me to realize that I do still love dance after all. Hahaha. It's just deep inside. I have tried ignoring it but I guess it won't ever go away. It also ignited a sort of passion in me as did before. The seniors were also very encouraging and I guess their commitment to dance was also partly why I gave my best in dance. I really don't regret joining DC overall.

Injured. Yeah, but halfway through the happy moments of poly, I got an injury which just escalated. I don't even want to talk about it. This had a super huge impact on me as I had to stop dance for a while. I was pretty depressed over my injury 'cause I practically felt like a handicapped person. I don't think anyone really knew but that injury greatly affected me physically, emotionally and mentally. Going to the doctors' countless times. Frustrated. Damn. Then there was the possibility that i had to quit dance for good. Now that, was a struggle in decision. Lol, tears came out on a few occasions when I thought about it. Even though it has been quite a while since the injury, I still haven't fully recovered.

Poly. Shortly after Semester 2 started, that's when poly problems came in. It was my first time being a sub-group leader and honestly, in my whole 18 years of life I have never once been a leader of sorts. I have observed how leaders did and I thought I could cope, but I was so wrong. It has not been a good experience but at least I did learn something out of it. I'm also grateful for a few people in the group who didn't give me problems. In short, it's been draining. 

2014 was also the year where I turned 18. The reality started to sink in after that. That I'm really getting old. Back in the earlier years, I could still say, hey, I'm young! Or forever 16! You know. Now? Hahaha. When I say that, I don't feel young at all. The route to being an adult and turning 21 is so close that I'm afraid. I'm not even sure I'm able to do what is expected of me then. And if I look back even further, I found that I have actually become more emotional. WELL, not those super emo kinds duh. Just, I started to show more of how I feel towards the people around me. And I think it's really important that they know it. Hah, and it was the first time I actually felt I had too many friends. Not that I dislike it. Wanting to meet-up with all of them was not an easy task. Still, I guess I managed pretty well? In addition, I have also finally understood the importance of family. It used to be friends over family. I would rather go out with my friends than family but it's changed this year. Another scary signal being mature. But I do like that part. 

Many opportunities also came to me in poly. And it further strengthened my thinking that things may not be as hard as you think. The feeling of  'hey, I can actually do this!' helped me to discover abilities that I never knew. I have also learned lots of lessons from it. I guess my self-confidence has risen a little? Haha. 

Time as usual, passes too fast. I'm reluctant yet relieved that 2014 is over. Let's hope 2015 will be a better one. Bye 2014 and hello 2015. (:

-peace- 

Pain pain go away

Haven't been feeling well recently, be it physically, emotionally or psychologically. I strained my muscles during dance and I suppose that was the last straw on my body, which led to several other pain spots appearing on other parts of my legs. That was when I sought treatment for the first time after 5 and a half years. I went to a TCM clinic which is located really near Marsiling station. Heard it's pretty good and I think so too. They normally have long queues on the weekends and you definitely have to make an appointment before going or else there's no guarantee that there'll be any Chinese physician available.


The first time I went, I was hurting in several spots. It hurt enough when I did normal walking or was just sitting but when I went for the treatment? I cried. Literally. Not gonna lie. I do take pride in my pain tolerance after all. So for me to cry? It definitely hurt a whole hell damn lot of it. I basically cried throughout that 30 minutes session. That was when I actually realised that my body is in a VERY bad shape.


Oh of course, before I got my muscles strained I did feel pain in areas here and there, but I ignored it, thinking 'oh, it's no big deal, it'll go away it a few days or just heal by itself'. APPARENTLY NOT.


After that first session I simply resented myself a lot. Why didn't I take more notice? Why did I just leave my pain to be? Oh god, my ignorance. So I spent the next few days rather depressed. I couldn't walk a lot, so I had to take buses more than usual. There goes my money-saving plan. And I could only walk slowly. Or else it would hurt. Even then, it still hurt. And sometimes I would suddenly feel a sharp pain and mentally cursed or mouthed those curse words silently.


Huh, as if that wasn't enough, the arch of my foot collapsed a little - resulting in more of a flat foot. Just when I thought my right leg didn't have a lot of problems huh. Rrright. I guess it's punishment for ignoring all those countless pain symptoms I felt. I really am sinking further into despair and basically have no mood to do anything at all.


I spent the first 2 weeks while receiving treatment awfully, and many worst case scenarios appeared in my mind. I really am grateful, thankful and happy for all the concerns and encouragements I have received. But those from my family are the worst. 'Cause it makes me feel bad as hell. I should've taken proper care of my body when I was in good shape and it's my responsibility to identify anything wrong with my body. I seriously feel damn sorry towards them. I'm still worrying them over such matters. Seriously, I wish I could just take this all upon myself. For example, paying for my own treatment. Huh, but I know they probably wouldn't let me. That makes me feel all the more worse 'cause their money is used to treat my injuries that sprouted from my ignorance. I am so pissed with myself. Every time I feel pain, I curse a little.


My left leg's now a whole lot better after 3 sessions but I'm probably still going back for my right leg this time. So there. Till next time. Thanks for reading my depressed thoughts and sorry if they made you feel the same. But seriously, if you feel ANY PAIN on ANY PART of your body, better go consult a doc. quickly. Go for whatever scans or x-rays or whatever that is required reassure you your body is fine or to find out the early symptoms of something. Don't EVER let it drag on like me. If it's left for too long, there may be no way to treat it and may lead to further complications when you grow older.

STEP UP ALL IN

 

(I know this review is super late, but I watched it late too, so oh well.)
  The movie was just like all the previous Step Up movies; some really talented dancers trying to make a living through dancing. You know how it goes with dance movies.

  Dancers trying to shine and make dance their career. Hot guy with abs meets hot girl. Sign up for a competition. They win. Happily ever after.

  Wanna ask why I still watch dance movies even with the same old storyline? 'Cause their dance moves are always awesome. And then after all that I'll be wondering how is it possible to dance like they did and why can't I be like them. Hahaha.

  Halfway through, I realised that it was actually a continuation of the previous Step Up movie. If you actually recognise the characters. :P This is where you actually realise that dance is really not an easy career. You have heard many say that, but an example? This sets the scene 6 months after The Mob went viral on Youtube and won the competition. By then, their popularity had already diminished. Struggling to feed themselves in LA, they went for auditions after auditions. And yeah, they didn't get in any. That's when almost all of the crew decided to give up and head for home. Leaving Sean who still has hope in his dream.

  Chased out of his abode after overdue rent, he's homeless. Fortunately, his old friend Moose provided him with a place to stay. Having remembered the advertisement for a dance audition called The Voice, he urged Moose to join him. With Max's wide connections, they managed to put a crew together quickly. Among the crew was Andie. ;) And they named themselves The LMNTRIX.

At first, Sean and Andie seemed to be at loggerheads with each other. But as time passed...

Sean was faced with betrayal as his old crew from The Mob also got in the audition without telling him.

  As expected, The LMNTRIX got through the first and second round of auditions, and were only left with the finals where they had to compete against the Grim Knights. However, just before that, they discovered that this whole competition was actually a setup to let the Grim Knights win. In an instant, Sean felt like there was nothing left to fight for while Andie wanted to persevere. In disagreement once again, they fell out, and the crew lost confidence. And then.... For you to find out, for me to know. ;P

  Once again, Step Up has amazed me with their dance moves and I must say that the choreographer(s) has always done a great job. Honestly, everytime I watch Step Up is 'cause I know there'd be hot girls and guys, romance and awesome dances waiting to be seen. Every single time I leave the theatre in wonder and amazement. However, the same old storyline doesn't help, but I'd give credit for the betrayal part that resulted in a bit of plot twist.

3.5/5 stars

~

  In all the step up movies that I have watched, they always send the same message: Don't give up on your dreams. So if you have dreams, reach for it! However, reality is cruel so we often have to adjust our dreams to match with the reality. More often than not, our dreams aren't fulfilled. But hey, it's not the end. It's just like me, for example. I really really wanted to become some sort of journalist in future but I couldn't get into the course of my choice. But I'm still fulfilling my dream - by writing on this blog! See what I mean? And that's that! Thanks for reading and visit often!

My First Posting

  Hello there! My 3 weeks clinical attachment have ended a while ago and it was truly an enriching experience.

  I admit I was a little nervous and pretty scared yet excited and curious for this first clinical posting because I don't know what it actually entails. Now, we've all been to a hospital before, unless you're one of the rare babies who was delivered by a mid-wife. (Get what I'm sayin'?)

  Be it visiting your relatives, going for check-ups or a surgery, have you ever thought of how a hospital works? Besides the visiting hours, what else do you know? For me, nothing else. Hahaha. Until the attachment. Then again, it isn't required for outsiders to know.

  On the first day of attachment, ohmygoodness. It was a boring lecture. Everyone who went to the same hospital as me will agree. Hahaha. You see heads all around nodding off, people sleeping, and some making an effort to listen but nothing actually goes in. Hahaha, for me, it was all of the above. But hey, I didn't actually fall asleep. I never could fall asleep outside anyway. My friend did though. :P Let's see, that lecture lasted for a total of three hours, and it didn't help that the chairs were soooo comfortable. Can't blame us. We also had a ward orientation after that to get us familiarised in our own ward. Where the things are placed, bed no.s, etc. So the first day wasn't too much to handle. All of you people, regardless of what course you're in, when you go for an attachment, listen attentively and carefully when they orientate you about the workplace. It's makes your starting days easier.

  The second day was when it really started. Like for real ohmy. I got partnered up with a guy from another class, whom later turned out to be an alumni from my sec sch. Hahaha, coincidence much. (So to date, I know two people, other than myself, who joined nursing.) Pretty thankful that my first partner was someone who is quite outspoken and always asking questions 'cos I'm not. Haha. But I tried! I just need time to get adjusted. After that, all's good.

  I felt that we hands-on-ed on quite a lot of skills in the first week yet not really? It's like when you first try something new it's quite a lot to take in, but at the end of it, maybe you haven't done much. That's how I felt anyway. I think I was really lucky to have ended up in a cubicle with that was quite slow-paced and relaxed. Which meant that we had lots of time to process what we have learned practically. And the perk of the first week was that I got to report and get off the job at the same time as my classmate Hamie. Haha.

 We change shifts and cubicles every week, and through that, we all had to work with different partners. I'm really grateful that I met such great partners who were so cooperative and I thought we worked quite well together! Haha.

Of course, there were difficult, troublesome but also good patients! Good patients really do cheer nurses up.

Some patients gave me useful advice and reminded me of what's important in the time that we're students, and I'm really thankful for that. Everyone in the ward taught us little bits and parts of life and I believe I'll continue to experience more as I continue to walk down this journey.

One thing I can say for sure. I have really learned to appreciate the simple magic words 'please' and 'thank you'. It doesn't matter who you say it too, be it healthcare workers, your friends, and especially your parents (I think majority of us overlook them the most), or strangers. Just saying those three magic words can lighten someone's day, make them feel a little better if they're in the dumps and perhaps more willing to help you with something. That's why they're called magic words.

Once again, a big thank you to the ward nurses for guiding us, the patients for their understanding and stories. Lastly, those peeps who were in the same ward as me for the enjoyable time. :P >.< All in all, the three weeks were a really enriching experience.

I think I have rambled enough so let's move on to pictures!

 

Some chocolates given by a patient to all of us. ^^

 

Thanks for reading ! ((:

Life isn't smooth-sailing, if it is, then it isn't life.

Throwback to Uniqlo

It's my 2nd time doing this post cos I don't know how it got deleted. Tsk. To start off, what do you all think of working in a factory/warehouse/workers? Well, I didn't have a very good impression really. I was exposed to quite a lot of negative information about them(shan't elaborate) and even mentally told myself I would never work in that kind of environment(I'm easily influenced, oops). It wasn't until March holidays, after I quit another part-time job, that I decided to throw away all misgivings about them.

Why not right? I still had quite a long holiday to go, so might as well make full use of it to earn more moneyyy! $.$ (Money is very important in this society, so yeah.) So I ended up in a warehouse job with one of my secondary school friend. ^^

My impression TOTALLY CHANGED after that. Sure, the environment is stuffy, dusty, so on. But the people there are helpful and nice. I received quite a lot of help from them throughout that 1 month.  Our job was to 'pick' clothes for Uniqlo based on a huge number of lists each day. We have to 'pick' from any boxes from approx. 23 columns and 5 rows of shelves which have 5 shelves each(it's okay if you don't understand, just think it's really big, haha). We have to use ladders or climb up illegally sometimes hahaha. (There weren't enough ladders to go around!)

Oh yeah, environment? How would you think of a warehouse with only 2 big fans at 2 ends of those large number of shelves.(thank god they at least have strong wind)

Back to the point, there are really nice people. Some of the nicest I have seen. The aunties there would give you advices, help and some food, yum! The guys willingly helped when we asked or when they saw us struggling. It's was like a whole cluster of kind-hearted people in 1 place. ^^ That's how I felt. They were all so willing to share! Really learned quite a bit from them.

Sorry for the paragraphs cos I really wanted to convey how I felt. :) Anyways, picture time!

                                                              Kinda scary at night.

                                                          Typical selfie in toilet.

 

                                                                Selfie when bored.
 

 

Didn't regret taking this job cause I met so many nice people! xx (That's not to say that I didn't enjoy the previous jobs that I did. Everyone is a learning experience. ^^)