Stressed up

Hey y'all! It's been a while since I came to this space. I just missed the whole November of blogging. -sniffs- It's already the 8th week since Year 2 Semester 2 started and yes, standards have increased, everything is a lot harder right now. A warning, it's gonna been an essay long type of post so you can choose to exit or continue.

Things have toned down just a teeny bit since the month of November ended. Truthfully, October and November were hell months for me. But November was the worst.

In October, I had my CCA's production to perform for which included a lot of rehearsals, and skipping a few classes. Some time after production ended, I just broke down.
Scoldings, naggings, late nights, lack of sleep, sore muscles, pain. All these just took a toll on me. And when I try to tell someone about how tired I am in CCA, they just ask me to quit. Hello?! Like it's that easy. Urgh. Not even my family understands. The feeling of nobody understanding me never felt stronger than that time. I could only confide in my CCA mates. Really, nobody else understands how we feel except those involved.

There was too much to deal with. I just cried out over the phone to one of best friends who's also in the same CCA as me. And I'm so thankful for that conversation. My heart felt lighter and my head clearer.

November started. I barely had time to take one deep breath before resuming the school's musical rehearsals. The same goes for some of my CCA mates. So my month of November was packed with musical rehearsals where we had practices every weekend. Even SUNDAYS. SACRED SUNDAYS. GOSH. Musical practices took the longest and most tiring. I felt like I was wasting my time there too when it could have been better spent on studying. Then the practices increased to almost everyday plus Sundays.

Home wasn't a home for me those 2 months. I'd be back home only to sleep before heading to school again. When I reached home I was too physically and mentally exhausted to even do any work. I tried so hard not to miss too many lessons still, not being able to touch on any schoolwork each day frustrated me so much. I even had to study for my exam in between lunchtime during dance. How stressful is it.

Dance became more of a haunting bad dream that didn't go away.

I was a little sad when musical ended but I was much more relieved that it did. Dance took so much out of me that whole period. I reconsidered a lot of stuff.

Anyway, I'm so glad I'm telling this when it's all over and I'm okay. My motivation has come back now and yes, will need to continue persevering. Even with family matters. Oh well, look on the bright side. Things will get better.

-peace-